when boredom invades the interlectual mind

The interlectual mind watches Tracy Beaker. It's true, Saturday and I'm bored. I'm bored :| WHY ?! I'll tell you why. Because I'm absolutely knackered, having to actually work at school has come as a shock to me, mainly because GCSEs were an utter breeze, A levels are actually something I have to work at. That sounds like I spent the two years of main school doing jack shit. Sadly it pretty much was that.. Especially when it came to french. Good times (':
Either way, I still got pretty good grades, one A*six As two Bs and three Cs. Fairly chuffed was I (: but I have commited suicide with the subjects I've taken. History, Chemistry, Biology, English Lit and a piece od piss called Critical Thinking. Joyful ehh ?

WAAAYYY too much homework I tell you.

Anywhooo, there is a reason that I haven't been writing to this blog much, mainly 'cause it's not my main blog and I don't have as many followers on here.. Am I shallow ? I think soooo ;) Jokes. Nah, been bombarded with homework and trying to find time to sleep. Last night was the latest night I've had for a while actually, falling asleep at the grand hour of 1 am, I was absolutely knackered :| yet at GCSE I could happily stay up till 3am and not be tired at all. Fun times I tell you !!

Gahh, Tracy Beaker is actually uber irritating now >.< AHA ! Mock the Week, much more my type of thing. Good old Russel Howard (':
I'm really in the mood for Starbucks now.. Really really in the mood for it.
Sadly if I want any it involves having to traipse all the way to Leicester and I don't have any money at the momentt. Might end up going to Leicester to see Phillip at some point, then going with Luke and possibly meeting Nic there. Good times ! Sadly two of them are exs and worry me slightly and they know they do.. Ahh, for such a small person there seems alot to be able to miss (':

Hmm, gonna send Cameron McD-B an email seeing if he wants to talk to me :/ miss talking to someone who gets me to be honest. I hardly see Dais now, so having Cameron to talk to again would be really nice. Think he might still be in America right now though.. Darn. Email's best cause if I send a text and he's in America, it costs shit loads. And I can put more into an email ! Sound. Thank God for technology (': still want a blackberry though...

Mmm, peckish. Really fancy a prawn salad actually. Shame we have no prawns and I can never be bothered to make a proper salad ;D yes, typically lazy A level student :D I LOVE it !

Riiight, time to watch Mock the Week and mosey into town for a bit (:
Latersss homies, I'll try tapping the odd post on here more often
x

the return of a tard to our midst.

WELL HAI THERE !

Yep, as I have said in both my other blogs, I'm back and writing blogs, and currently in the middle of a inner argument, my heart and my brain, or my heart and emotions, or my heart and my brain or my brain and my emotions, or my emotions and my bog toe. I'VE GIVEN UP CARING WHAT WITH. Either way, it's a bloody inconvinience, and have now told the population of facebook about my new toothbrush. How thrilling.

My life has come to questioning myself as to what would happen if I was placed in a nunery. Fuck knows. Thats the answer. Men may drive me to pure insanity, but tbh, we need the fools. Without them we would be over hormonal, over stressy, over sexually frustrated and generally uber stroppy. 'Tis me all over ;D HA.

And for god's sake, if you're GOING to talk to me on msn, DON'T just say Hi and then expect me to make the conversation, YOU'RE IN IT AS WELL YOU BLOODY FOOL.
Gah, can you tell I'm a tad, stressed/hyped up/emotional/bored/caffine stricken ?

Started at 6th form now though (: so expect many more lovely posts of my life as a teenage tart, named Reginald and therefore everyone thinks I'm genderly confused, as I do in fact, ONLY have lady parts and am sadly NOT a hermaphfrodite, unlike my darling Archibold, whose penis in fact, has a flashing LED and is attatched to my through clever stitching (:

ZOMG Billsy willsy lemon squilsy just text me, boy I'm loved ;D and he calls me Boobookittyfuck, so you decide whose name's worse. He's rather uber cool to be frank (: bless him..

Hmm, I think I just sounded uber snappy to Gaz :/ woops. I just get annoyed so easily :/ BLAME HORMONES. Oh I forgot, I have done ever since I was 10.

Interesting education I had I must say..

Anyway, I must jizz. Did I say jizz ? I meant whizz. Did I say whizz ? I mean.. GO. Yes, mein fuhrer, me and mein kampf must go and do yoga. My kampf being my bottom. God I'm a raving fool :|

Laters tardy darlings, myself included, SCHIZOPHRENIC xD jokes.

x

Reginald and Archibold

There is a perfectly plausable reason why I haven't been blogging like a caffine feuled hamster lately. That reason can only be understood by people who understand the extent of the love me and Archi have for eachother.
Basically she abandoned me for a week and left me to the disaster of Hinckley and the ameoba. Although it DID mean that my room looks worryingly, yet at the same time pleasantly tidy ! It's take me roughly 14 years to get it to the state it is today. I've abused it ever since the age of 2 when I started to totter on my podgy legs. Arwh. Cute image ? Crazy hair, crazy looking toddler in SCARY clothes. The fashion of the 90s for toddlers was evil, it really was. In fact I found a few photos of me and my brother when we were younger. My brother actually looks adorable, opposed to the Jesus/hippy look he sports nowadays. Ah well, he's 150 miles away at uni ^.^

Back to Archibold. SHE RETURNED TO MY BOSSOM ON SUNDAY !!! xD My lord I was happy, (': t'was tears of joy when I saw her. I could have even hugged her ! But sadly I had a toothbrush in my mouth and didn't really fancy getting stabbed in the throat. GAH !
We had an epic day of trundling about Hinckley, letting the tards know that the queen tard and brothel owner had arrived back on the retard scene. T'was immense. Melon played a main role in the arrival thing.. And then hilarious videos followed in Hollycroft park. An area of Hinckley that will no longer be free from me and Dais, we found it rather pleasant and intriguing with the band playing show tunes. Fun stuff ! Nowhere is safe I tell you. We stormed London a few weeks back and I think they're still recovering xD at least I am, I kept tripping up (':

I'm also seeing her tomorrow (': I just hope that my front door wants to like me and let me lock it. We spent about 10 minutes trying to lock the flaming thing on Sunday. T'was not good at all.

My internet's been playing up a heck of alot as well, hence the lack of posts, bit hard to type on when every 5 minutes Tiscali likes to turn our internet off. SADISTS. Ahem. Yoga's been taking over my life.. Ish. I've discovered that it's rather nice to do it outside, inside it feels a tad.. resticted. It also means I get a tad sunburnt, if on occassion, it's fairly sunny. Sensitive skinn (N). Although I do go a nice brown the next day ;D
And the main reason I haven't really blogged much, is due to a severe lack of inspiration. But now I'm pretty much brimming with the stuff ! :D I have the return of Dais, a really crap internet, moseys round town with Archi, my hate of technology, obsession with Facebook and a fear of Turkish stalkers.

The hate of technology is because when I took a few videos of me and Daisy in Hollycroft, when I put them on my laptop they got rotated to the wrong angle. So from about 9pm last night till 3am, then from when I woke up this morning for a few hours, I have been trying to find a programme to successfully rotate them WITHOUT having them sped up to 8 times the normal speed. Tricky.
Annnddd I have a Turkish stalker type thing. I'm not quite sure how I've aquired him to be honest. There I was happily chatting to Tom and uploading videos and sorting photos out on Facebook, then up he pops. Now he wants to see another photo of me.. Although apparently English guys are blind and stupid xD I like the fact he thinks I'm pretty. How shallow. BLEH ! But despite that, it really is an irritation, in fact Cameron McD-B advised I tell him to eff off in Turkish xD tempting.. Very tempting ;D

Things are all good with Joshua the raving lesbian though, although his girlfriend's gone away and he's kinda moochy, poor thing ): Cameron McD-B's also feeling alot better which is gooood :D andd Sebastian's been talking to me again. Is it bad that it makes me stupidly happy ? :\
Gah I like it (':

I'm really into Go:Audio at the minute, ALOT. Not only are they buff, their music is pretty decent. Not only is it rock and indie, it's good for manically dancing like a fool to. And yoga :S although that MIGHT just be me.. Oh well (':
God, I can't believe this holiday's almost over ! It's odd really. 6th form's going to be so different, so many people aren't going to be there, especially my darling Archibold.. Stefaniak's going to miss her as well, I can tell how she sees me next to Jake and just thinks, "that should be Daisy taking the piss out of my hair with Rozz.." Hahaaaa, she's going to come to hate me over these 2 years ;D

Ohh dear, I'd better dash, I have to be up at like 9am tomorrow :| WHY DID I SAY 11 WAS OKAY ?!?!
My bad.

Latersss

x

oh how mooody.

this post was actually supposed to be typed up last night, but my ipod proved useless when it comes to writing to my blogs, so meh.


basically it was about half 1 in the morning and little old me was sitting on my bed gazing mysticly out my bedroom window.
the moon was really bright, well, the reflection that it gave of the sun was. technicalities. psch.


and it was kinda cloudy and the clouds were moving across the moon and it looked really mysterious and moody and ahhhh (':
listening to Joshua Radin - rather be with you rather helped deepen the atmosphereee.
I was also talking to Joshua, t'was a good conversation until he went all odd, "don't say never.. do you understand ?"
understand what ?! :S

Gahh, oh well (':

'tis all for now my lovelies

tatty bye

x

boopy doo da di dooDAAAAA.

haaaa, i'm bored. and Joshua said "brb" like half an hour ago now -.- maybe that's a tad of an exageration but blehhhh. who's to knowww ?
i have rather neglected my darling blogs lately. i feel rather ashamed and sorrowful. you, my darling readers, who are all presumably mental.. have been deprived of my manic ramblings and my usual 5 posts a day. oh i do pity you.

but yesss, with the new yoga doing, loudly OHHMMing and shorter haired Rozz is baaaack (': she also has an even shittier internet. not sure if that's possible, but it darn well seems it to be frankk. she has also discovered she has spent and unnaturally long time on bebo since Sebastian Gourge (HA.) Reene mailed her on there. and she's also questioning why in the name of arse she's talking in the third person.

shut UP Rozz.

hmm, brushing teeth time. i'm getting a complex about brushing my teeth. haaaaa. that must be a fun one to talk about to a therapist. i might consider itt (':

mmm, minty freshness ;D and holy lord my hair really is rather short. this is short for me, so it is actually still fairly long. gah. you lot are so darn picky. got some of that dry shampoo stuff actually. not half bad. smells loverly.. i think. the fumes knocked me out for a bit ;D

and Joshua has returned ! good lord... ! and i'm bored of this song, Rob Thomas, did you come from the caribbean ?! where's itunes.. AHAAA ! i love windows 7 ^.^

ohh, in the car on the way back from badminton (LOTS of old people, but rather amusing 'cause i'm pretty good and beat my mom most the time xD) my mom decided to tell me her plan for me and a family friends son, Gareth. he's about 6 years older than me, and she decided to tell me that she though that as soon as i'd finished uni, got a decent degree, a good brain, and a pretty face, then i should get with him.

hmm. thanks mom.

in fairness he is a great guy, but i really doubt he'd want someone he's known since she was a screaming baby with a full head of manic red hair who tried to hit her brother with a brick when she was about 4, got addicted to caffine at the age of 5, and who accidentally whacked him in the nuts with a pillow VERY hard when she was 12. my moms main reason is that he's going to get a massive inheritance.. how shallow mother.

i could lassoo the owner of starbucks and get free coffee for all eternity.. now THERE'S a decent plan xD

ahaaaa, whoever said yoga was calming, evidentally never did the stuff that's in my moms book. although granted, her book is from several centuries ago. something like 1980... it hurts. alot. i mean it is my own fault for doing ONLY the excersises that help shed weight, but my stomach hurts like billio !

wow my hair's short. i think i should dye it a really nice red. my moms opinion isn't exactly positive though, basically if i DID dye it, she would go ballistic.
fantastic !! ;D

woops. i really shouldn't sneeze when my mom's trying to sleep. bad idea Rozz...

latersss (':

x

with hands held high to a sky so blue..

the ocean opens up to swallow you..

just though i'd recite a bit of Linkin Park for you all (': i was watching the flight of a flutterby when the song came reverberating through my ear drums and pounding into my head. wouldn't it be nice to live as a butterfly for just one day.. ? they look so delicate and prettyyyy..

yes, i was intrigued on my walk today. i only really went on a walk because i had a disaster of a meal with my moms friends who are, tbh, fairly arrogant, and my grandypops and my mom. i mean my grandad's lovely, but i just wasn't in the mood for the know it all polava today, especially seeing as i only went to bed at 3am and had to try and get up at 11. then i didn't know what the eff i was supposed to wear. ARGH !
the only word that can fully describe today, is disaster. unmitigated disaster.

i mean i could deal with the horrendus meal. but then, after attempting yoga which was actually pretty amusing and kinda calming.. i liiiiike it (': Joshua decided to send me a text telling me that we're actually NOT going to meet in august. i mean, AS IF ?!

and it's all because of his bloody girlfriend. i mean i feel bad for calling her a bloody girlfriend, but it's so utterly effing pathetic. basically she thinks he's going to like me, simply because he did over a bloody YEAR ago. dear God. give me strength. i'm seriously not that likeable, what does she think i'm going to do for effs sake ?! bewitch him ?!
if only i had magic powers..

so yeah, i'm a tad miffed to say the least. plus my arms are still aching like billio from yesterday and i'm severely doubting the standard of JCC's 6th form. arghh. not good. i wanted to stay rediculously happy...

and i want a hug ): a frigging big'n.

i want someone to cheer me up. or at least try. gah. i'm so needy. i need a therapist. no. actually. i just need to do more yoga. and for some unknown reason i keep putting full stops. i'm annoying myself. i'm begining to read this like a telegram. the things you used to get about a million years ago.

GAHH !!!!!!!

ohhhhh darn. hmm, The Stone Roses. old but ever so gooood (': i can't even remember who sent me a song that got me hooked on them.. i need to thank them. ohh well.
haaaa, i've just realised something, today has been the only day when i've actually remembered to clean my piercing as much as i should. i tend to forget or say to myself i'll do it later, then never do because i either forget, or plain can't be bothered. usually because i remember at about 2am and i don't have the energy to be frankkkk..

hmm, i'm going to try and cheer myself up by OHHHMMMMMMing very loudly and annoyingly while blasting out a mix of Royworld, Metro Station, Hinder, Hoobastank and Paramoreee.. roll on monday ehhh ?

latersss

x

what is this feeling.. ?

so sudden and new. can it be true ? i'm happy.. i'm actually happy. for the first time in so so long i'm happy !! (': i mean i'm not completely happy, there are a few things in life that have to be sorted. but i'm happy !!! i'm happy. wow. is it bad that it feels like a brand new emotion ?! oh god !

yeah. i'm happy (':
in fact, i'm feeling rather mellow.. which is happy. meh. i like the word ^.^ i have plans to go out this weeeeek and i'm hoping Cameron's a happy fellow (:

i've found that i'm getting closer to moving on from Sebastian. which at the same time as being a relief is rather odd. it's twisted and complicated. i like talking to him as a friend. if he was nearer and everything, maybe things would be different.. you can't change the impossible though. maybe it's something i've come to accept (:

damn. this post is neither ranty, funny, hyperactive, witty, amusing, depressing, or uber excitable. bugger it. i'm feeling mellow and deep. leave me alone. i can't be amusing all the time. i'd go mad ! that's not a hint to point out i'm already am btw.. i am well aware of my mental state -.-

whoa my hair's a mess xD i should so go out with my mom, grandypops and moms besties like this for the meal tomorrow. mmm, hot waiters anyone ?
woops. shouldn't have done that. my sneezes are well renowned for being rediculously loud and extravagent. in my mock stats exam, i sneezed so loudly my paper almost blew off the table if i hadn't of catched it (': so yeah, sneezing at 02:45 with my mom asleep in the next room and when i'm supposed to be asleep, not blogging like a thing possessed isn't the wisest move.

gah.

sod itt ehhh (':

cold coffee. bleh. just not the same ): mmm.. yoga. OHHHMMMM. i am actually starting it by the wayy, it's not some kind of sham. i am adament that i shall start parading round with my bottom in the air and my feet stuck to the back of my knees. yes. i shall look hot. when i hobble into a resataraunt and all i can say is "i do yoga." haaaa. i wanna try that now.

hmm, Joshuananaaaaaa has left me and gone to sleepy boos. in fact he left me ages ago.
i miss the tart )':

nightnight i thinkk, sleepy boos call (':

x

bugger it.

i'm not feeling malicious or unkind or stressed or stroppy. i'm just care free. why should i care what people think of me. THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND YOU TWIT.
mm, flash back to psychoville and mister lomax.. poor guy.. he's blind and likes fiddling with beany toys.

hahaaaa. i called myself a tiwit when i wrote that ^.^ oh god. easy amusement. who knew i could be so daft. typical response.. "your mom." correct actually.. myself and my darling mother have established that we are in fact the family of freaks. as my family is actually pretty much just me and my mom. it's nice actually. i always thought that having your parents split up would be a really upsetting process, primarily because your kinda stuck in the middle. but actually i never had that problem.

okay, so maybe that sounds bad. i didn't care that my parents marriage had failed. it's not really like that. it's the fact that my father was a vindictive twat whose hobbys included shouting at me for no reason, hitting me, and called me an ungrateful bitch.
oh who doesn't love home truths ?!

so yeah. now he lives next door and my brother still lurveessss him. but all my dads side of the family hate me. especially his sister. just because i learnt from a young age that sarcasm is a beautiful thing and that just because i had more wit, it was no reason to be evil to me. having said that his family hates me, his older brother is rather awesome and still sends me the odd bit of money for christmas (: he's about the only reasonable person to come from that gene bank.

gah !

ranting baby (':

i feel like a free woman. once again. i feel like stripping down and running manically up and down my road. in the dark. and the rain. and it's a main road. hmm. would be funny. if there was photographic evidence i would cry. with laughter.
but in realistic terms i don't think i'd have the nerve unfortunately.. maybe when i'm older, wiser, at university, and look hot. that sounds like a plan (':

hmm.. first time i'm going to be ashamed to say this in a blog.. but brb..

7 minutes laterrr..


and i'm alive :D and back. with a wonderfully cleaan fringe ^.^ and my ear kinda hurts, i clamped it a tad too hard with the lotion stuff to make sure it doesn't go majorly gammy and kill me. i wouldn't really appreciate it tbh. and oooo, ROYWORLD xD *dances on bed in jammies*

i have an urge to watch tonights Psychoville. i mean i actually watched it on TV for once, opposed to my addiction to it on bbc iplayer. but i just want to watch it again. it ended rather obscurely. everything seems to make clowns out to be evil actually. if you've seen Psychoville you know what happens with the clowns. then in IT the IT looked like a clown.. so discriminating !
but very good.. (':

and i have to say thank yoouuuu to Cameron McD-B for uploading a load of photos onto my blogs because my internet's being a twat with PMT. and he just loves me so i can reward the adorable nerd with promises of hugs ^.^
hugs are 'maazinnngg (':

hmm, hellooo psychoville <3 so utterly disturbing you are, yet so good. my mother looked at me in horror as she sat watching the last episode with me earlier. teeheeee. poor woman, i feel rather mean. i will make her happy by promising to clean the house some day, tottering round, armed with a vacuum and a duster and my beloved ipod :D

HINDER (':

x

oh damn..

just realised it was a really bad idea to keep this song on.. Akon - Beautiful. i mean i really like the song, okay so it's not by the greatest artist i know of and it's stupidly popular, but bleh. but basically it reminds me of having Sebastian on my bed cuddling me.. makes me feel a tad.. lonely. and reminisant )':

i really need to pull myself together over the whole Sebastian malarky tbh. i know 'tis tiresome and repeatative and utterly pathetic but i can't help myself.. i need to accept that i'm over emotional, over sensitive, and generally an idiot for trying to claw back the past. fool Rozz. bloody fool. now get over yourself. and him, and whatever else you feel like really.

GAH !

to be honest i was actually kinda dreading today.. it was planned that i was going to see Nic.. god only knows why really, maybe i'm desperate. although after my half mental, half blog post pep chat yesterday, i don't think i am. especially as i'd decided that i didn't actually want to see him, so was praying that he'd decide not to come or by some miracle, he'd got amnesia and forgotten i actually existed. i mean i guess he's an alright type of bloke in general, but i don't think i particuarly enjoy his company.
and yes, i know i'm an idiot. but, thank the lord, i think he was feeling merciful this morning actually, i decided to tell him not to bother coming over because i wasn't really in the mood for company, and it was raining. alot.

in fact it meant i could bumble off to asda to get the coco rocks for tomorrow when i allow daisy to suffer mild cardiac arrest as she witnesses my tidy and clean room. trust me, she WILL have a heart attack when she sees it. so yes. she gets that bundle of joy and i get to rape her with my education of Psychoville. i lovee the programme, although granted, it's completely twisted and obscure, it is actually fairly good i reckon (:
back to my point, i ambled to asda which is about a 45 minute walk from my house, and i mission walk there. it was absolutely sheeting down all the way there, AND all the way back. i was rather cheerful on the way and most the way back. but then i got annoyed at being utterly wet through and my shoes were rubbing and the box of coco rocks was all damp and begining to fall apart. almost. i somehow saved it. and i got all mopey because i was aware i looked like a drowned tramp and then my mind wandered to.. yeah, been to the depressing bit at the top. don't really wanna go back there.

then i decided to have a bottle of pear cider seeing as i haven't consumed any for ages, and then mom had a go at me for it. i'm 16 for god's sake ! and i've never abused alcohol.. my mother has such little faith in me. gah. then google frickin' accounts had a strop at me >.<

arghhhhhh. i think that's enough ranting for now, i hardly want to spread negativity. not good really. and anyway, metro station's playing. 'tis sex to my ears. and i mean good sex, like very very good sex. i need to stop talking about sex. ARGH !! shut up Rozz ):


tooodlessss

x

just a quickie..

hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa at the title (': ohh, i'm so easily amused ^.^

just to let you bloggers know.. one part of my fringe has turned into a uber adorable little curl and i find it really sweet and now i look and feel marginally cute opposed to the time when i got scribbled on when i knocked myself unconscious round Daisy's once, and her and her lesbo decided to draw all over me..
thanks alot you guys -.-
they're SUPPOSED to be my "friends." gah.

not bloody likely.. i woke up and thought i was a man :|
i have photographic evidence..

teeheeee, t'was amusing though, if not slightly frightening..

and i just read one of Rhian's blog and i feel quite touched ^.^
she mentioned mee ! MEE !! and my brain child of a blog.. the brothel one ^.^
i feel a tear of proud joy slipping from my eye...


ahh (':

x

love.. ? what is that ?

i have come to realise, that being at the ripe age of 16, or in fact from the age of about 13 when "relationships" suddenly seem the thing you should be in, that the word "love" or the well used phrase, "i love you" comes to mean very little.
i mean don't get me wrong, in some cases, i guess it's true and there's a meaning behind those words. but in many cases it doesn't consumate alot.

i won't lie, i have said those 3 well known words to many people, but in very few cases actually felt that they mean anything deep and heart felt. however, at my age, it doesn't mean alot. in a way it's just to please a girlfriend / boyfried, make them believe that they're who you want, blah blah blah.

i regret a fair few times when i've said it to be frank, they didn't mean anything and it wasn't what i really wanted to say. for god's sake, i don't expect to fall in love at 16. the only guy i've ever said it to and really thought it meant something, was Sebastian. and yes, his name crops up all over again. but i do actually think i meant it which is kinda scary. and upsetting seeing how it's worked out.. but bleh.

i'm not even sure why i'm rattling on about it to be frank, maybe because Robbie's started with the whole 'love you' thing on the end of a text. it's nice to read but a tad annoying when you know it's utter bullshit. and generally all a teenage guy wants is an orgasm. note i say GENERALLY. i'm not implying every guy around my age just wants sex and porn. gah. i fear i'm digging myself a hole and climbing in, pulling the soil in after my and patting it around to create a lovely warm death pot thing.

the philosophical Rozz has returned, who is highly irritated with her internet because it's refusing to upload photos onto my blogs and so they look a tad bare and dull ): i may have to pray to baby jesus to get tiscali to miraculously love me (HA !) and therefore give me a lovely quick, reliable, working internet so i can make my blogs look attractive and famous :D
ooo, i have also managed to spread around the loveee for Hoobastank and Hinder today ^.^ i feel like a proud groupie. i was also reminded of some bands that i'd long forgotten, or just not listened to their stuff for ages because i've been so addicted to Royworld. i'm not complaining, merely saying :D

anywhooooo
i have a loverly warm bed waiting (':

toodles

x

pondering.. 'tis a mystery..

i'm not actually sure if this post is going to turn out as a complete moan or utterly depressing, or somehow get twisted into something witty and amusing and light hearted. at the moment it's not looking too promising to be fair. i have one hell of a headache, i don't have the energy to get up and hunt for wherever i've lobbed my precious nurofen, i'm confused as a fruit salad, and i've temporarily gone off coffee ):
methinks 'tis bad and i should see a doctor, and be sent away with a note saying i should start on alcohol instead. little do they know that i already have a minor addiction to pear cider. there is a reason for this and it's not to help me through stress or failed relationships. it's merely because it tastes nice. is it such a crime ? i darnwell hope not. i mean nowadays you can hardly say anything without being pounced on by someone overly politically correct. it takes the piss to be blunt.

i think someone should inform the pathetically politically correct that politics is full of pillocks and it utterly pathetic, not to mention entirely useless. just look at the state our country's in ! failing that, Gordon Brown's face.. although i'd rather not. it's an horrific sight at the best of times to be frank. i think i could do well in politics, i know how to lie convincingly, i look terrible in the morning, i can argue until i'm blue in the face, and i actually have logic where most politicians fail epicly.

hmm, i'm actually feeling slightly more happy.. my emotions suck ! one minute i'm depressed as a corpse on a spike, then i'm happy as a cat that got it's bottom sniffed. although i'm fairly happy because i think, finally, the photo i've been trying to upload onto another blog for the past few days, has FINALLY uploaded ! i think we look hot in the photo (': good times...

mmm, my piercing looks hot.. i wasn't overly sure if it would look alright to be honest, but when i put up my hair earlier you can see it and it does look fairly good i reckon (': i think i made a good decision getting it done actually :D and i'm watching psychoville again.. s'bad.. i think i'm getting a tad addicted. i even wrote a blog about my 5 main addictions. dear lord, my life has come down to writing about my addictions. ARGH !! mmm, lady grey teaaa (: s'making me feel better. but no nurofen for once.. although that could change in a minute :\ gah.

right, i'm going to see if any other photos are willing to be uploaded onto other blogs, i want to make them look hot.. the blogs that is, not actually the photos, they can speak for themselves. obviously. i don't know HOW i'd make a photo look hot to be fair.. maybe there's a manual for doing it.. hmm.

(': thank you all

x

such larks we have (':

friday was the venture of the summer to London town with Daaais and Scott, such fun we had xD the lorry that couldn't spell Archibold correctly. instead it was called Archbold. we did have a plan to run after the lorry down the motorway equiped with a biro and attempt to scrawl an "i" onto the name. we are very particular about our spelling and grammar you seeeee.
the mosey into London was a fun one i must say, especially the overground half, t'was interesting watching randomers on it, especially a family whose primary dress sense was tracksuits. but not normal ones, DESIGNER tracksuits. ohh i did snigger, to be fair i think they looked a tad daft (': this was, of course, opposed to my skinnies and top and cardii. think i looked hot, minus the majorly insane, later extremely frizzy hair due to the rain (':

first to be hit by our group of utter tards, was Camden. so we fitted in perfectly ! minus the all over body piercings, although Daais could have competed to be fair, and minus the awesomely coloured and spiked hair. i'm begining to think i should have got mine dyed and spiked actually.. would have looked.. interesting xD but we did have a fun amble around Camden, and when the smell of weed and the persistant rain got too much we departed for the Hayward art gallery. t'was amusing. i really don't have the effort to go through the pornographic exhibitions AGAIN, for god's sake, just read my other blogs. it saves SO much time.
ditto for the restaraunt, show, and tube back. my fingers are bored of typing it over and over again. well, properly once, the other was a less inspired ramble but i felt obliged to write it. hmm.

annndd yesterday i got the cartilage at the top of my ear pierced yesterday (': it hurt a tad and last night was interesting when i was trying to sleep on my opposite side, but i'm somehow managing it. and oddly, it seems to be healing better than my lobes did..intriguing. and now i have something in my eye and it hurtssss alot. ):
and my stomach's rumbling and my mom didn't get any more nutri-grain junk from asda on friday because i wasn't there to tell her what we needed to get. *sighs* parents.. do they ever learn from their young ? i somehow doubt it.. although my mom can actually text by herself now.. although it does take an age. and then the spelling and grammar are basically appalling. bleh.

haaa, this morning i got a lovely little alarm call from none other than my darling lesbian Joshua (': i missed talking to the raging maniac last night actually, t'was nice to hear him.. that and the guns in the background 'cause he was at work, (he works on a clay shooting range thiiing) so yeah (: such larks was the conversation, until he had to reload the thingy ma bob and has resorted to texting me. and now i'm scrawling a blog and cursing my internet.
i'm trying to upload some pictures on here to make my blog look attractive and show some events of London, but for some reason it just refuses ): and i don't liiiike it. it makes me sad. i want the hot pictures of me, daisy and scott outside the restaraunt where i'm raping my little turd.

s'not fairrr. and my coffeee doesn't taste that nice for some reason today.. i'm not impressed in the SLIGHTEST to be fair.. annddd i'm confused as to what i am. as my darling Cameron McD-B wrote in his blog that he wasn't sure what to call me.. so now i don't know if i'm a boy or a girl.. i think i have a growth.
i have a growth on my face :| can it be true ?! i have a penis.. ON MY FACE ?!?
oh hang on...
no, just my nose.
have my toes mutated into 10 mini penis's ? i don't think so actually, they're the wrong shape i reckon.. am i a hermaphrodite.. ? am i a miracle of modern science ?
to be fair, i still reckon i'm leaning more towards a female. in fact no. i KNOW i am a girl.
so thank you Cameron darling for confusing my gender ! such a lovely guy to have when he starts you questioning your gender (':

i'm going to make more coffee, stuff that's actually going to taste nice..
coffee coffee coffeee !

x

damnity damn damn.

00:09, i'm wide awake, well maybe the tiniest bit sleepy, i have to be up in 5 hours and 21 minutes to be ready for 7 to mosey on down to London and because i'm waiting for my ipod to fully charge, that and my phone. i decided to look through my many thousands of photos, a small selection of which are on my ipod and i have a heck of alot of photo editting aplications. i really would love to be a photographer, get to photograph so many things it would be almost an escape from reality while being in the midst of it. odd huh ?

but yeah.. not really feeling anywhere near as happy as i was earlier, maybe because i have nothing to do and therefore my mind takes over and natters to itself and my thoughts run off back into the past and it hurts. my god it really hurts. it's just looking at this photo of me and Sebastian.. it makes me feel so darn sad. he looks like an utter giant in it, which is fairly accurate seeing as i AM only 5ft 3" and he was 6ft 4".. thats one of the things i liked about him though, he was so tall it made hugs utterly amazing.
i'm sorry for going on about it, but i really have nothing better to do than write a blog and it helps kinda get it out. i just love that photo so much.. it reminds me of him and that i would like to be in his arms again. christ my feelings are so mushed up.

argh, to be honest i've almost lost any inspiration i had. after i've let myself be emotional for 5 minutes about him i tend to pull myself together. it's still pathetic though, and i'm perfectly aware it is. i doubt he even remembers me anymore, or if he does he tries not to. ARGH i am so utterly stupid. i should see a therapist and find out that in a past life i was a real living version of Bertha in Jane Eyre. speaking of which i haven't moved from page 43 or whatever i was on the last time i read it which was on the beach at Borth.

i really miss Borth actually and the fact that i could just happily mosey on down to the beach whenever i wanted, raining or not to sit on the pebbles or breakers and watch the waves fall in on themselves.. it was hypnotic. it was therapy in itself without the extortionate price ! to be honest, i love the sea that much, i'm considering going to Aberystwyth uni despite what courses they offer.. okay, being realistic i'd rather have a decent course, but i am DETERMINED to live on the coast when i'm older. i have lived in land for far too long really. it's a toss up between London and the coast, but London is looking less attractive to me lately.

ha, sometimes i'm so happy i have a handy set of media button things along the edge of my laptop, like by the touchpad thing ma jig. means i don't have to dither round with the function key and F11 or whatever. oh dear, the extent of excitement in my life is finding ease of use of my laptop.. dear god. having said that, as much as a non computer nerd that i am, i find myself pretty happy on the tardy things. mainly thanks to my brother having a romantic attatchment to computers, it means we not only own about 10 machines, it means that one can act entirely as a media server, so about 500GB + of music, films, downloads, everything. it's great :D

well, it's great for when it's actually working, but i can live with it, just means i clog my own machine up with films and stuff that i copy over because i don't trust the connection to stay up for a sufficient amount of time. does come in handy when someone i know wants music though. i mean i have a fair bit which is mainly Hinder, Hoobastank, You me at Six, Jimmy Eat World and now Royworld. but for those that like Muse and other junk there's my brothers media server.

and oh lordy loo. i have managed to talk about a media server. for about 3 paragraphs. i seriously think i'm ill. i am never going to understand the obsession with computers and similar atire. technology in general tends to find a way to hate me. even my beloved ipod. i had to restore it so many damn times it's rediculous. and the amount of earphones i've managed to go through ! it's plain daft.

i really am at a loss if i'm talking about technology and my appalling relationship with it. i also have a feeling that i keep spelling appalling wrong.. hmm. apalling appalling appaling apaling. appalling still looks right to me, but i could be wrong. bleh. i cba to find a dictionary or open word just to type it and find the flipping american spelling of it which is probably more inaccurate than my own, seeing as they forget the "i" in alumInium. it's not aluminum you tards. and i REALLY need to learn not to sit like this anymore, i'm doing further damage to the tendon in my left ankle sustained from football many moons ago when i used to play. in fact i did consider starting again, but i don't really enjoy it that much anymore and i don't know if i still have any skills worth mentioning. gah. yoga it is.. OHMMMM.

nightnight

x

i am such a fool sometimesss...

as me and Daisy and Scott are ambling off to mosey round London and scare innocent passers by with our amazing wit, i thought it best to try and find my oyster card so i could trudle round on the underground rather happily, although i have to put some money on it first i think :\ but yeah, so i thought i would make an effort to find it. especially because i'm going to London in august as well.
so there i was, with my candle basket, my dressing table draw, and my bedside table draw all upturned on my bed and i was sifting through the junk i've managed to hoard over the years, and decided that i should take a break and go and lob some clothes in the laundry basket, so off i did trundle with an armful of clothes. soon to be joined by all my bedding. my mom's going to have fun washing that lot, i will help her of course (: i'm not a completely terrible daughter. i am attempting to get a job as well and she knows it ! but anyway. as i was struggling out my door, i noticed a yellow sliver in my pot of junk that contains everything from cards with hair appointments on them, to my house keys.
when i came back i plucked it out, and low and behold it was my oyster card in an incredibly attractive IKEA cover. i didn't exactly want the IKEA cover, but it came in it so i'm living with it (: so yes ! Rozz has been a twit once more and is now sitting in the only bare patch of her double bed that's covered in candles, lighters, hairspray, which i never use. and blu tack and my passport. in fact i thought i'd lost my passport.. today has been a day of great discoveries :D

and although it means i feel an uber twerp for not remembering where i'd put the blasted thing, it means i don't have to fork out for a new one, but i still need to put more money on it. when i was last in london the stupid gate thing kept warning me i had less than a fiver on it. like i don't know ! you've only told me 7 times you tard ! but the London underground is a thing of mystery and i love it (: it makes me feel all cosmopolitan which is a bit of a contrast to the music blaring out my ipod when i'm on the tube or underground. people don't need to listen to their music, they can just stand near me and be in danger of being hit when i start jiving like a mad thing :D

and yes, i do start dancing on the tube. i find it fun, no one in London cares less anyway, unlike in my town, where if you start dancing down the street and someone who knows you see you, you are faced with mass humiliation for the next month. maybe that's a tad of an exaggeration, but still. my friends still don't let me forget when i was listening to Hannah's ipod on the train to Brum and i started dancing then the train jerked and i fell over. but then again, it was the day before my birthday and i had a boyfriend so i was allowed to be unreasonably happy. well, i was happy until my boyfriend (Sebastian) dumped me later in the evening, but hey. i have many other birthdays to look forward to i hopeee (:

hmm, i reckon i should get back to sorting all the junk on my bed out. although i have just had a rather spiffing (HA.) thought about what i can do with some empty candle jars.. all shall be revealed if you ever enter my boudouir.. other than that it means i can just throw away alot of hairspray and similar products that i don't use because i don't really want hair that looks like it should be on a butch lesbian. i prefer the natural look, although i do straighten my locks because if i don't i look positively insane. and i wouldn't say no to trying a really nice shade of red to dye my hair. it's naturally kinda reddy, browny blondey. so basically it's plain odd. and confusing. but bleh :D

right, i'm going to depart to see if i can clear a space big enough for me to lie down in, i'm feeling a tad sleepy. although i only woke up about an hour and a half ago.. woops :D oh well, life of a teenage girl who's had summer holidays for about 2 months already. God love GCSEs. i stopped going to lessons as soon as i had my first exams :D it was bliss. and then you finish about a month before the rest of the school anyway. me and my friends had much fun ambling across the school field and laughing at all the year 10s looking wistfully out at us as we picniced or jeered and so on. such larks !!

mmmm Royworld.. this is heaven to my ears (:

tataaaa

x

the wonders of being a woman..

ohhh yes, the wonderful joys that life brings when you are a woman, well girl. no, too degrading. FEMALE in your teens. especially the ripe age of 16. typically of course, you have the gift ? no. CURSE of having ovaries that think your ready for popping babies, so the inevitable period trundling along, bearing promises of pain, misery, and emotional torture as you spend 4 days in agony begging for nurofen and sleep. at least, thats what i have anyway.. sometimes guys don't realise JUST how lucky they are..
so yes, i have been intruded upon by the monthly painters, who never seem to change the colour which is a bit sad, it could really brighten things up with some variety.. but they never listen to we creative minds.
so yes, agony, nurofen and a thumping headache all day while braving the wind and rain that is British summertime. braving that and C's tales of Iceland, which all sound pretty cool to be fair, and the blind walking down the road.. that was fun :D until i found myself almost wandering into a lampost, which could have been painful and problematic, so i quickly righted myself and decided not to be blind..

away from the goriness that is a womans.. natural redecoration, Cameron has introduced me to the immense music that Royworld produces.. they are uber amazing and i loveee them, especially Brakes. that is such a good song (: in fact, i love them sooo much, that they are going to wiggle onto my ipod sometime soon. annd, as he gave me enlightenment to an artist i can very well see myself following whole heartedly, i returned the favour and gave him the gift of listening to Hinder. if you haven't heard of them, or listened to them you should be ashamed and look them up on youtube right away. the best song, in my opinion, is Loaded and Alone. listen and learn.

one of my exs was talking to me actually today.. he's in san francisco :| unbelievably jealous to be fair, it's been raining again.. i don't mind, unless i'm out in it and i see someone i know, who, in fairness, is pretty hot and i haven't seen him for ages so i looked an absolute tard crossed between a drowned ginger person trotting along with C. what larks ! in face i managed to have two exs talking to me today.. both wanting effectively the same thing.. creepy or just something to do with how my eyes look on my new display photo on msn. guys think very oddly sometimes.
in fact, J sent me a text as i was scurrying home with an urgent desire for the loo, saying that he felt lonely ): i made the mistake of stopping and looking sad, then remembered my bladder and practically ran home.. and yes, i did make it. but i just wanted to hug the darn lesbian, as much as i take the piss out of him and call him an egotistic maniac, i do love the retard and i hate it when any of my close friends are feeling lonely and down, it makes me sad and want to hug them 'till they're near suffocation..

unfortunately, J wasn't the only one feeling a tad down today, CMB was also rather mizz which is a shame, he may be obsessed with the state of his fingernails, but still, he means alot. it's just a matter that he's in London and although i'm going down on friday *does dance* i won't be seeing him or J, so i don't have an opportunity to hug either, so i can only offer virtual until august in effect.. which does suck a tad but i can't really do anything about it :\

but anyway, i managed to trip over a dog today :D completely by accident i might add, as J thinks i'm some sort of evil dog beater who kicks them downstairs.. he has me mistaken with me "father." not only did i trip over a dog, i also recieved a heart attack when i went to the bathroom and found two spiders. fuddly and duddly. fuddly being the mom, duddly being the.. son ? animals have had a habit of molesting me (C's dogs) or scaring me, or basically being there when i didn't expect them to be.. ahh, i am so spacially aware :D

anyway, J and CA demand my attention on msn, so i fear i must leave you to whatever the hell you were doing before you decided to read my pointless post

toodle pip mon amis

x

bugger it you evil little scary person

holy SHITE i have aquired a stalker. my brain feels stretched beyond it's limits, scary J person.. that being the stalker. i have another J but i call him Joshua and he knows that because his msn name is Josh-Ua ! wow.. so i like to be annoying and call him Joshua. like with Cameron, he liked being called Cam but i prefer Cameron, and likewise with Seb.. i call him Sebastian. i'm rather sad like that. like with contacts in my mobile, it has to be their full name otherwise i go barmy. tends to be problematic if you have a last name like McDougal-Brownhill though, yeah. thanks Cameron >.<
i really do have a bad tendancy to amble off on tangents.. hmm, i like to think it makes the whole thing a tad more interesting :D i could be wrong of course, but for god's sake, i'm writing it so just deal with it. arghh, i remind myself of a well known prick who made a video for youtube on "how to impress girls" i'll give you the link if you fancy a giggle.. and NO he's not american. but yeah, ironic as the advice is given from someone who treats his girlfriend like total shit. in fact, if i give you the response to the vid which was done by some friends, the whole disgraceful truth will come out :D but yeah. the guy doing it is an utter arse. leave as many truthful comments as you can :L
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohb6rssUJ2o the second one's just as bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48iPjg1X5ac&feature=related the response xD
and as a laugh, as a small tribute to Stefaniak babes, featured ALOT in my main blog, this is Hitler baby being slightly peeved :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELyTBXzfQJ8&feature=related
trust me, watch it and laugh (: i reckon the guy's a genius :D hrmm, fun youtubing thing theree, unfortunately i don't youtube much thanks to an abomination of an internet, which apparently had a load of cinese EXPERTS look at it to supposedly "fix" it, and thereby depleated it further :D hello O2 broadband xD and my brother has now fled back to aber so i get the house uncovered in his boxers and socks and random bits of computer. gosh it's a relief. sounds bad, but y'know.. i guess it's the whole brother - sister love thing. that and i don't particuarly like his best mate as he seems to want to have rumpy pumpy with me.. what he DOESN'T realise, is my sex life is wonderfully sorted, until i'm 30 anyway. basically..
17 and a half.. Tom Hopson
18th.. Joshua
20.. Cameron Anderson (providing single etc.)
30.. Joshua (providing i'm still a spinster.)
and in between, Joshua will have to be my sex slave because.. well, his soap opera is NOTHING without a bit of Rozz rumpy pumpy :D lets face it ! not that i'm entirely sure my rumpy pumpy is worth having. i'm actually digging myself a hole.. this really should have gone in my other blog.. it seems more appropriate in there :\ darn.
and oh my flying pigs. Cameron has just decided to tell me that he has shagged a teddy bear.. is it just me, or is that rahter disturbing ? seriously ?! i'm not sure if i should carry on talking to him now.. i mean okay, comedy value. but the poor bear !
anyway. ahem. Joshuaaa's birthday today :D apparently he went driving.. i wonder who was daft enough to let him to be frank.. the trees observing roads are no longer safe and should retreat away from there.. only joking Joshuaaaaa, mainly because i want to be able to experience you "driving skills" will be an.. experience. ahh well. he got my card. and read the essay that i managed to scribble out. hopefully anyway. and august is hopefully going to be planned and sorted and awesomeee xD hopefully :D :L
and i have just discovered that i was an utter NOOB for downloading the VV Brown album, i only like one song and that was the one Cameron sent to me yesterday, so that was a pointless and time consuming exercise >.<
and ow, my blisters are painful. i really think i should go out tomorrow. but it's supposed to rain :\ perhaps i should just wing it and see who's free tomorrow. seems like a plan to me. i'm more concerened with tending to my burnt chest.
i wonder if my coffee's still drinkable.. darn, i doubt it. gah, it can wait until tomorrow. my dogs might attack me if i go down now.. i might just brave it..
oh sod it. coffee it is :D

x

oh, and Joshua, i do love you you adorable lesbian (:

rain rain, lovely rain.

i have to say, as appalling as the Biritish summer inevitably is, ie, we get about 3 weeks max of proper sun, i am rather liking this moody rain that's sheeting down outside my window.
i have a lovely big bay window to look pensively out of as well (: i would do pretty much anything to make my mom agree to let me have a window seat in the bay, i would love it to be frank. but sadly i have my radiator there, so would be a tad inconvienient, but my radiator doesn't really.. DO anything, i mean okay okay it's supposed to give out heat in winter, but it's right by the bloody window ! so the heat ambles straight back out the house again !
as i have said many times, the design of this house is rediculous and utterly pointless. i'm still planning to redecorate my room though (: i now have a slight obsession with wall "tattoos" or stickers to those who are not exactly the brightest or creative in this world. some of the designs are so gorgeous, whereas others are a tad obscure, creative and mildly attractive, but not something i would personally want on my wall if i was going to end up looking at it while trying to sleep.. i would rather have a picture of a rather attractive guy to dream about but not obsess over. that would be daft. obsessing over a poster of a guy that's probably not real, or if he is, has countless faults and would irritate me insantaniously in reality.
i really am blogging like a thing possessed today, i have updated all 3 of my darlings, this being the last actually, i'm just not really sure what to say in it, nothing's relevant to having insomnia anymore.. but then again nothing's overly related to being a whore in a brothel in my other, or being 16 and being alive in another. oh well. hang on, i tell a lie. the one about being a whore in a brothel actually was related to something in the last post. ahh, at least now i can rest peacefully because i have been assured that i'm actually turning into a professional whore. which remind me of moseying to B&Q with my darling Daisy and seeing the trolley things and discussing a kind of train of mobile whores.. you just lie with your feet open then there are various trolley's for specific positions.. this really should go in my other blog, and i would update it but it's so much effort, and although i am being a blog nerd and actually managing to touch type with barely any errors, i just cant be bummed.
in other news, my wasp bite is still itching like anything, which i think is a tad unfair, my poor foot did nothing to prevent the evil little git. i think it was just jealous because yellow and black didn't flatter it and thought that a pinky colour would make him much more attractive to queeny wasp. he just looked like all the others being yellow and black. and he depleated the option of being able to show off with the biggest bottom as he rammed the majority of it into my foot and left some of it there, i kid you not. i did however FAIL trying to get the thing out, i was paranoid it was going to hurt, but later found it hurt so much it was actually NUMB so wouldn't have mattered it i'd stabbed myself with the tweezers..
ahh, i think i need coffee, my dancing fingers are begining to get tired, although the hypnotic rain outside is still going (: God love rain (:

x

really not insomnia.

i must apologises as it appears i have neglected this blog for a while, mainly because i've been focusing on my other two, one posing as a brothel writer, the other simply me, and this one being slightly restrictive as it's supposed to be for when i can't sleep. unfortunately that's generally when i've turned my laptop off and i don't have the energy to either turn it back on, or go on via my ipod touch. the keyboard on that takes a great deal of patience which i rarely have at 3am.
so it's now less of a bunch of semi conscious bumblings, and more lively thoughts, seeing as some people actually do read this (: i thank you all.
not sure if i put this in the last post, or in my other blog, but i think i'm finally managing to get over Sebastian, slowly, yes, but the hopes and needs are fading, meaning i can concentrate in burning the fat off my disgusting body. obviously not using a fire.. i'm all for being a piromaniac, hence the decision to take A level chemistry, but if i tried to burn the fat off my body, i would probably die, or end up with epic scars. neither of which i'm feeling right at this moment to be frank.
last night it was odd actually, talking to Joshua, the fool was almost asleep bless him, he still wouldn't just.. well.. sleep. but i love the lesbianic fool, he's great to talk to so it works for me (: and i was catching up on Hotel Babylon, i don't know why but i loveeee it, it may be incredibly tacky and full of cliches, but it's one of the decent programmes the BBC offer these days, in addition to the Supersizers eat.. although the Giles bloke irritates me slightly.. it's the way he chews :S and Top Gear. i'm not massively into cars, but that show actually makes it humorous and therefore gives an insentive to watch. Jeremy is, a bit of a prat, but Richard Hammond is so adorable, and James May is just.. well.. odd.
i hardly watch tv now though, i find it rather dull and just encourages me to eat and get fat. at least with blogging, my finger get an amazing workout :D most of the time because i'm slightly high on caffine, i hardly get a kick though, drinking it from the age of about 5 makes you slightly more immune i think. but it's handy for when i have to do a history or english assignement, they require much manic finger action, makes them dance along the keys like hot coals, so sweet.. oooo, they could do a finger olympics.. which hand's to host it THIS year ?
haaaa, sad, i make myself giggle, slightly.. not alot.. ahem (:
ooo, email from facebook, possibly Joshua being incredibly excited about his birthday on monday, it is sweet to be fair, but the roads are going to be in danger.. that's IF he starts driving anyway.. as soon as my brother passed his test, the roads were already in peril. he drove me and my mom back from Wales last week, i almost threw up his driving was terrible along twisty lanes, and when your lying in the back with a laptop sticking in the side of your head and your feet dangling out the window, you don't exactly feel safe. having said that, i was in a huff, so i may have provoked it. bleh. i miss the sea ):

latersss

x

sleepy ?

okay, so it's only 16:18, but i'm actually knackered.
and i feel like an insomniac. i mean i went to be at about 1am last night, but for some reason i rose from my comfy nest of a bed at roughly 20 past 9 this morning.
i was not a happy bunny.
in fact i felt like a bunny that had had it's tail burnt off and it's ears used as a bib by husband bunny because he dribbles.
i blame it on Ben..
this random guy that started talking to me yesterday, i mean he seems, lovely, but his image scares me a tad if i'm honest :\ it's cross between a hippy and a goth.. it's rather unnatural.
he's like an incredibly happy puppy that's full of beans because he's just urinated all over the daisys..
why am i comparing everything to animals ?!?!

anywayy, bibbidy bob.
i had a tad of an odd dream last night actually
i was in an estate,( a car, ) the same one as Sebby boo had. god if only i could call him that now :D
and his dad was driving, and we were in a race with a load of other people, and we were in like a market place with loads of fruit and veg stalls, and if you smashed into one then you had to go round kissing a load of bricks before you could get back in the car and carry on racing.
we lost, obviously. Jeff's driving wasn't the most.. well.. precise.

what do my dreams mean ?!?!
dreaming about my ex wearing a pinny..
oh no, sorry, he was wearing a dress.
that he was going to school in
he was wearing the pinny when he was chasing me round a mall in Leicester.

oh dear. i think i'm turning into a retard.
shit.

i mean, in my other blog, i was talking about wallpaper !!!!!!
hrmm, i must go back and write an amusing blog (:
check it out if you wish, but before you do, i'm not actually a whore..
mores the pity, at least if i was, i would get paid >.<
http://orgasmsavailablehere.blogspot.com/

ooooo, and i have grown attatched to alot of mascara and eyeliner. well, kohl.
liquid eyeliner goes everywhere when i try and do it.
dim as i was once, i put it along the bottom bit of my eye, blinked and found my eye was completely black. it was disgusting trying to get the stuff out.
i used almost half a loo roll trying to do it.
although i never did it again :D
so i guess i did learn from that mistake !

x

for effing hell's sake.

i really effing give up.
i know i said i wasn't gonna moan in these blogs anymore.. but to be frank, my mood demands that i am vaguely depressing.. sorry.

it's just.. i've got myself into a really awkward, utterly shite situation.
basically
i'm still stuck up on my ex, that's bad enough as it is.
but in addition to that, i have also got a boyfriend.. who is lovely, yet i'm still so fxcked up in how the crap i'm feeling.
that doesn't even make sense, but right now i don't give a flying fart in space :\

i've only just started talking to Joshua about stuff with Sebastian again, mainly because i'm aware his opinion of Seb isn't exactly high, and doesn't really understand why i still like him, even i can't justify that, and he can't really see why i went back with him.
i just come across as a needy nitwit in this..
maybe i am, but bleh.
thing is with this blog, i'm happy most people don't read it because it's basically me lobbing everything my brain rattles which is utter bollocks, into a post, so it generally turns out utter shite.
so yeah


basically, my crap situation, is that i'm still hung up on someone who has absolutely nothing good about him, and am with someone who is amazing, yet i go crazy over the daft things, like him not changing his relationship status on effing facebook to "in a relationship"
holy crap i'm pathetic ):

but i can't help what i feel ):
i mean, i want to forget Seb and move on, but in a stupid way i don't.. i want to hold onto the memories of him, the long phone calls, the soft kisses.. it just sucks ):
it's just i'm putting myself through so much emotional torment and i don't want to prevent it !
how sad and stupid am i ?!?!

if anyone has ANY advice.
help !!

sorry for being whingey and pathetic..

x

hmm. odd.

well well well.
i guess this can hardly be classed as an insomniatic scribbling, as it is being typed at ten past 11 at night, but merh, who's really counting ? (:

today has been slightly obscure in all honesty..
had a lovely lie in, yet was plighted with dreams of..
hmm.
no, the dream of my ex in a dress for school uniform was some time ago
i still need councelling for that dream actually, i was rather worried.

but yes, my lie in was littered with snatchets of dreams of me running round highcross being chased by a guy in a pinny. not quite sure just why he was wearing the pinny, i have a feeling he was in fact a transvestite, failing that, he had finally giving up on finding any woman that could bear to be with him for long enough, so he had finally gone back to the other side.
even i feel that this is highly obscure and my mind should be subject of medical science.
but what can you do eh ?!

and oh dear lord.
here we go againn, the mishaps that occur if you leave a picture of yourself and an ex boyfriend on facebook, just come back to bite you in the arse :|
i mean, i can't help the fact that i think i look okay in the picture..
it's purely vanity ! like i care what some scooter - obsessed noob is gonna think !!
seriously, i swear he has formed a sexual relationship with his vespa.
of name i cannot mention as i fear he may read this and kill me.

woops.

i have also realised that many of my previous posts in my other blog have been incredibly rant - like
so in my new, outlook on things, if you like, i am now attempting to moan less,
mainly because if i want to moan, hell, i have people that can reply and call me a posh tart instead :D
hey.
it works for meeeee.

i got called a posh b*stard the other day actually.
because i have a wide range of vocabulary and have incredibly well developed argumentative skills.
i mean seriously, if you're planning to start an argument, start it with someone who will give you a good one, yet will lose entirely. the bloke in question obviously forgot that last time he started a rather pointless yet adrenaline feuled argument with me, he lost miserably.
i proceeded to repeat the fabulous win and he got quite upset.
poor mite.

should i feel bad for pointing out it was in fact he that was stupid, as he was utterly incapable of continuing on the same point as he knew he had no argument, and that by telling me to f*ck off because i was being too technical meant i was the stupid one.. ?
i don't think so (:

i feel i have a right to be utterly smug at the fact that i could make an amazing politician.
although i'm not totally sure if that's something to be proud of..
bleh.

ENJOY !!

x

awake at 3am.

to those who are still conscious at 3am, i feel your pain.
sleep fails to avail and come and take you away from pointless and miserable thoughts that your brain just happens to come up with >.< still manages to natter on to itself.
owww this laptop gets fairly hot after a while :|

as much as i try to be a permanantly chirpy person, i cannot help but fail miserably at it at night to be frankkk.
my mind starts thinking about things that would never be considered in any usual awakenesss..
such as, my ex.. always a bad subject to be honest, apart from maybe the wonderful job i did of cutting a spring roll in a restaraunt..
basically, the spring roll pastry bit was really crispy and they gave me a fork and spoon to cut it with.. if there's logic in that, please, enlighten me. anyway, basically i attempted to cut this bl*ody spring roll with the spoon and half of it flew across the room.. a tad embarressed was i, yet slightly amused at the comedy of it.
but yeah. really anything else associated with my ex in conversation, or thoughts, is not a very pleasant nor enjoyable experience :\

another is superficial and i am partly ashamed to admit that i stress about my body image.
urgh, when will " round" ever enter fashion ?!
i can't help the fact that i don't hate food and have the opinion that making yourself throw up recently consumed food, is a waste and fairly pointless and pathetic..
my only hope is lypo, only issue there being the fact i hate needles with a passion.. hmm. i may have to rethink..

one day i shall be beautiful !
that day may be many light years from now, but one day, i shall be attractive !!
and no, that is not my ambission in life.
my ambition in life is to have lots of sex and babie.. well, that's the default of human beings, so technically thats not my personal ambition..
my personal ambition is a secret until i decide to share it with you nosey people (:

sleep is still being reluctant as ever to envelop me, so i'm going to head to my other blog to see if the s*dding thing will publish my train wreck of a post.
urgh, my internet sucks.

x