awake at 3am.

to those who are still conscious at 3am, i feel your pain.
sleep fails to avail and come and take you away from pointless and miserable thoughts that your brain just happens to come up with >.< still manages to natter on to itself.
owww this laptop gets fairly hot after a while :|

as much as i try to be a permanantly chirpy person, i cannot help but fail miserably at it at night to be frankkk.
my mind starts thinking about things that would never be considered in any usual awakenesss..
such as, my ex.. always a bad subject to be honest, apart from maybe the wonderful job i did of cutting a spring roll in a restaraunt..
basically, the spring roll pastry bit was really crispy and they gave me a fork and spoon to cut it with.. if there's logic in that, please, enlighten me. anyway, basically i attempted to cut this bl*ody spring roll with the spoon and half of it flew across the room.. a tad embarressed was i, yet slightly amused at the comedy of it.
but yeah. really anything else associated with my ex in conversation, or thoughts, is not a very pleasant nor enjoyable experience :\

another is superficial and i am partly ashamed to admit that i stress about my body image.
urgh, when will " round" ever enter fashion ?!
i can't help the fact that i don't hate food and have the opinion that making yourself throw up recently consumed food, is a waste and fairly pointless and pathetic..
my only hope is lypo, only issue there being the fact i hate needles with a passion.. hmm. i may have to rethink..

one day i shall be beautiful !
that day may be many light years from now, but one day, i shall be attractive !!
and no, that is not my ambission in life.
my ambition in life is to have lots of sex and babie.. well, that's the default of human beings, so technically thats not my personal ambition..
my personal ambition is a secret until i decide to share it with you nosey people (:

sleep is still being reluctant as ever to envelop me, so i'm going to head to my other blog to see if the s*dding thing will publish my train wreck of a post.
urgh, my internet sucks.

x